As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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