You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
