He kissed a someone with a penis
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
