i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
