I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
