Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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