there's paper in my vomit.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
