how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
