i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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