Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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