I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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