So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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