Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
