I want to stick my p in your. b.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
