I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
