I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize