North Korea, Best Korea!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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