Christians are straight up FREAKS
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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