I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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