I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
