I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We are all done wearing pants today
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
