I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
