please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
