we have officially lost it.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How naked do you want me to be?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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