ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
