Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
