I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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