dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
