Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
