oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
