So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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