i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
