Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
