you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
