wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
