We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize