And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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