I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
