...so i touched it.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize