she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
