how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
