I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
