Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
