i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
