No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Porn is love you can see.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
