Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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