5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
smell my finger.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
