well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
