i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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