We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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