Welp...herpes.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
foreskin is a definite game changer
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
