Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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