Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just high enough for therapy.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
