I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
