i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
